The Most Confusing Part of Life Is…Hope

"Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torments of man."- Friedrich Nietzsche

Faith and Hope

The future. What does it hold for me? There are so many things that I want and dream about and hope for, yet I have no idea what it is that I really want. There are two different ways to look at hope. Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torments of man."

It's true, isn't it? We're always hoping and praying for things to happen in our lives–Prince Charming, whoever he is, to come and sweep us off our feet; to move to the big city; get the promotion; to win the lottery; to buy a big house with a white picket fence; marry Prince Charming and have beautiful little babies. But in reality, does it ever actually work that way?

You think you know everything that you want and then one day, you wake up and you have no idea anymore. You go to college for one thing …you had your whole life planned on the career that you studied…and you change your mind. You want to live in the big city ….and you find that while you love calling it home, it's not like the home you grew up in. You find Prince Charming… and he loves someone else. You have all these hopes and dreams and they all get crushed. Hope is tormenting, sometimes, because hanging on to hope, can pull every last heart-string in your very being.

But hope, can also get you through these bumps in the road. "Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all," said Emily Dickinson. So when you want to give up, hope is what lives inside of you, pushing you to continue wishing for something better. So when the college you chose isn't what you want, you find a better one. When your friends let you down, you find some that'll pick you up. When Prince Charming isn't who you thought he was–you find someone else to love instead.

I don't think hope is one or the other. It's scary and tormenting and confusing, but it also is beautiful and optimistic…it's marriage of Nietzsche and of Dickinson.

So it is not life itself or the future, really, that confuse me…but rather the hope associated with it…because I don't know whether I should doubt my hopes, or continue to believe in them.

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