Between yesterday and today, I’ve realized the hilarity of immaturity in more forms than one.
Besides annoying couples being grossly all over each other yesterday (I know, it’s Valentine’s Day, but get a room please), harassing text messages I received from a Pottstown, PA phone number (I have a hunch who you are), making amends with an old friend (yay!) and a rude, immature comment left on my blog today under the name “dumb, firstname.lastname@example.org” (I know you were in the Clemson computer lab) I have realized how much I’ve personally grown up in the last few years.
I used to be that bimbo who’d make-out with her boyfriend anywhere (manners, hello?), swear in front of small children, get in text message fights with my friends (who I then wouldn’t speak to for 2 years) and get mad when someone would say or write something mean about me. I even got in a fight with a cousin in high school who I used to be attached at the hip with. I haven’t talked to her since junior year.
Now, I like to think that I’ve grown up a bit.
Feel free to criticize away, I’m writing this blog for me and not for anyone else. I wrote on my front page that constructive criticism is welcome here. This is my place to hone my writing skills (for future employers) and it’s my personal diary to “let it all out.” However, if you’re going to leave an immature, nasty comment on this blog, at least have the balls to leave your name on it.
The best part of this blog is that I have hundreds of views a day and my Twitter followers telling me how much they love to read about my adventures and stories and “life goals.” They enjoy reading about how I was snowed into my apartment upset over Alexander McQueen’s death and distraught over President Clinton’s hospitalization. But they are also aware that I do not believe the world is ending. (Although, I watched Jesse Ventura’s Conspiracy Theory yesterday and it was all about how the government and the wealthy are building secret underground bunkers for the end of the world in 2012, and I’m starting to become slightly concerned) They feel like they know me, because yes, I go to school for a “real-life” job, but I still have goals and dreams that are on my proverbial back-burner.
It used to really bother me if someone told me my nose was big, that I was ugly, fat or stupid. I used to cry about not being a size 2 or wishing I didn’t have a bump in my nose because I ran into my bedroom door when I was three. Now, I either laugh it off or roll my eyes at it. I take that sh!t with a grain of salt, babe. Last night, I did just that, when I got ridiculous text messages asking me to “guess who” the person texting me was and refused to tell me who he/she were. Not a fun game unless you’re fifteen. If you’re not in my Blackberry, it’s obviously for a good reason, so I stopped answering him/her and he/she stopped texting me. Or today, for example, when I got a comment telling me I’m a “f*cktard” who needs to “get out and see the world.”
What the hell do you think I’m doing living in New York City if I’m not out seeing the world? If I didn’t want to see the world and I just wanted to sit in my room and write this little blog and pretend that people care about it, I’d be sitting in my bedroom in Massachusetts still commuting to community college and going to my same boring job that I hated every day for the rest of my God-given life.
If you don’t like what I write here, you are under NO circumstances required to read it. You are free to leave here at any time.
So anyways, my point is that despite all this BS that has been going on for the last two days, I somehow managed to reconcile a friendship with someone I got in a fight with over two years ago when we were stupid immature kids. We got in a fight because our other “friends” were influencing us. It took us awhile to grow up, realize we were both wrong and that there were other factors that were surrounding us that were not conducive to our friendship back then. We’ve both put the past in the past, learned from our mistakes and are planning on having lunch together in a few weeks. Out of all the people I knew back then, I always hoped that she and I could be friends again someday (This sounds so Heidi Montag wanting to be friends with Lauren Conrad of me, but it’s true!) I honestly couldn’t be more excited to see her! (And I know she’s going to read this :-D)
Part of us deciding to start our friendship from scratch made me realize how much I’ve grown up. I used to be told how “mature” I was back then by so many people, but really, I was just an idiot like anyone else is at eighteen years old. I got in fights with my friends over boys (something you should never let come between you and true friend), I got in fights with my friends over other friends and I cried because the guy I was in love with was married (true story). See! Now, how stupid does that sound?
If I were still that immature girl I used to be, I would’ve broadcasted my textiphile’s number to all of Facebook to find out who the loser was that was texting me last night, but instead, I asked three people if they knew whose number it was. None of them knew, so it was over. When I got that comment today, I could have left it up and responded nastily to the person for the whole world to see, but instead, I quietly deleted it and laughed it off. It’s not worth my time giving you the satisfaction of thinking you upset me, because you didn’t. I think you’re immature. If you’re here writing nasty things on my blog thinking you’re going to step on my so-called “dreams,” and hurt my delicate feelings, then you’re the one who needs to get out and see something in the world–like a therapist, for starters.
What would’ve been even more mature of me, would’ve been to leave the whole situation alone and pretend it never happened, but I think it’s funny how some people just don’t have manners. Internet etiquette is long gone, and whoever “Dumb, email@example.com” is will probably read this and write another comment that I will delete about how immature and idiotic I actually am on this post. We think the internet can shield us from being hurt and that we can throw our mean words at others without consequence, but hey, you left your IP address behind honey and I know where you live. Literally.
Reflect on how you’ve changed the last few years of your life. Is there something really stupid you used to do that you wouldn’t do now? Congrats! You’ve matured. It’s a process of life that most people go through, but sadly, some people don’t. Think about your life now and who you want to be in the future and the next time you want to get the last word in just let it go. If there’s something you want to do, don’t just sit around and wait for it to happen, get out there and do it. If you want to be the next Britney Spears, I would encourage you to make an appointment at your local recording studio, sing your little heart out and annoy people until they give you a record deal. If you want to travel to the Argentina and hang-glide through the rainforest past the chimpanzees, book your trip already. If there’s a friend you haven’t talked to in five years because she stole your boyfriend but you know she’s destined to be an amazing bridesmaid in your wedding and an “auntie” to your future children, dear Lord, makeup with her already!
Love. Laugh and most of all, Live. You only get one life (at least, that’s what I believe) so you should make it worthwhile.
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